August 20th, 2006

A Gossip Columnist’s Life…

There’s a disturbing new trend on the social circuit for hosts to try and avoid feeding guests at cocktail parties. Maybe they are blowing the budget on fancy schmancy cocktails and by casting their waiters from model agencies? But it has to end. It’s not that I am some kind of canape queen. Far from it. I’m just a working gal on a skin tight schedule which leaves me around 15 minutes to get ready and out the door. Who has time to eat?

At the Myer’ spring summer collection launch held in Sydney’s old showground on Wednesday night, I zoomed down the red carpet to find a bank of the most gorgeous looking waiters I have seem for yonks - all toting trays of drinks but not even so much as a sausage in sight. As I scoured the crowd for goss, attempting to debrief the divine Alex Zabotto-Bentley, Alex Perry, Christina Fitzgerald and Charlie Brown, I kept an eye out for anything edible. Finally, I saw something - cheese sticks. Whoopee do, I wasn’t going to break my carb free rule for that.

OK maybe it’s not such a good idea to stuff guests at a fashion show just before they are treated to a parade of wafer thin models. That might only make them feel fat.But there has to be a happy medium because all that champagne and thos lethal cocktails only makes everyone as silly as fishes.

Once the Myer show had ended on a high note (yes, it was fab - event supremo Tony Assness should win an award), the model waiters came down the runway again with the trays of drinks followed by some food - a cheese platter, toasted sandwiches - more cheese sticks… They disappeared in a nanosecond. Then it was on to the after-party at hemmesphere. And who would be seen eating at an after-party? It’s so not cool.
David Jones wasn’t much better the week before. The only food I found before or aftet that show was some quail fillets. Try staving off your hunger pangs on those. It’s like eating a budgie To be fair, I did see some plates that once held food at the David Jones’ show but - the only way I could have got to them in time was to have established a beach head in front of the kitchen door. And that was A-list Siberia.
So from now on I’m hoping that the event organisers might re-think their budgets - water down those cocktails why dontcha and fire up the food. Hard working gossip columnists like me will love you for it.

Canape-free Nelly Furtado at DJ’s, Sydney. Pic by Robert Rosen

We’re starving! Annelise Braakensiek and Danny Goldberg at Myer -Pic by Robert Rosen

August 13th, 2006

A Gossip Columnist’s Life …

There’s nothing I love more than going to a great big event packed to the rafters with A-listers. It just makes my job so much easier. Last week, there was two celeb-centric nights on the town - Cirque de Soleil and David Jones’ fashion show. OC star Mischa Barton went to both (and managed to fit in a day trip to Melbourne in the middle) which really upped the ante.

I’m actually a really shy person but something comes over me when I have my Sunday Telegraph’ column to fill and there are lots of well known names in the room. Before I know it I am bowling up to people like John Symond (owner of Point Piper’s mega mansion), Kasey Chambers (who went to David Jones with a girlfriend and was declared herself to be thrilled with the Alice McCall playsuit she was wearing), Luke Mangan and a swathe of fashion designers including Jonathan Ward, Alex-Zabotto Bentley and Jayson Brunsdon.

I was also seated in the front row right next to Luke Ricketson who was with the entire Waterhouse family including Gai and Robbie along with girlfriend Kate’s and her adorable brother, Tom. There’s certainly been a few comments about Ricko on the website but he and Kate seem to be getting along swimmingly. They might even become engaged. Ricko was clearly at ease in the situation even if one woman he had er `romanced’ in the past was sitting on the opposite side of the runway and trying to give him grief. I also sat next to Jeremy Sims and Samantha Lang (who has really lost all of that post baby weight). They were both charming despite the fact that I was the one who gave the time and secret location of their wedding away. What can I say, that’s  my job…

Samantha Lang and Jeremy Sims

August 6th, 2006

A Gossip Columnist’s Life …

When I ran into former NRL footy star, Luke Ricketson this week, I hardly knew where to look. I was leaving my accountant’s office and he was bowling in through the door. In the short history of this website - hardly anyone has stimulated as much debate as the former Roosters’ skipper and Dancing With The Stars - early evictee. It all started when I ran a picture of Ricko’s squeeze, Kate Waterhouse at a La Prairie’ event and Mary M commented that both she and Tara Moss looked shocking. Ellen Day then added that it was probably because Kate was in a relationship that she had let herself go. Then it was on for young and old. Ricko’s former title of Sexiest Man of League was questioned, as well as the age gap within his relationship with Kate, his intellect and then one of you with a suspicious sounding name, started to discuss Ricko’s romantic history. All in all there were 22 comments (although I must admit I added my two cents in as well), no wonder I had trouble conversing with him after that.

The only post which came close to being as controversial was the 30th birthday of one of the organisers of the David Jones’ spring summer offensive this week. (Possible presents were discussed along with the gatecrashing prospects for the night - a total of 15 comments).

The ability to receive comments and publish them immediately is one of the great features of a gossip website like this one. This website is actually a global community with people logging on in London, New York, LA and Dubai. There is now not one hour of the day when someone is not on this site and that’s what makes it so dynamic . I would like to encourage everyone to post more comments. I can’t promise to publish them all as they have been defamatory (`Crystal’, what were you thinking?) and we don’t have a budget for possible court actions. But I will take them all on board. You see, nothing comes closer to demystifying the notion of celebrity than having such an open forum. Long may it continue.

July 30th, 2006

A Gossip Columnist’s Life …

Who would have thought that a throwaway line about Jake Wall being dull, would have resulted in a tsunami of hate mail? Yes, in my Sunday Telegraph column last weekend, I had the nerve to criticise Jennifer Hawkins’ model boyfriend for appearing wooden on TV The bile started oozing out of my inbox by Monday morning. “You’re boring and you’re not even attractive like Jake,'’ was the general theme of most of the correspondence. “Who do you think you are to have a go at Jake? We’ve known him and Jen for years and he is a great guy - unlike such a miserable bitch as you..At least he has better things to do than write a gossip column. ‘’ Yeah, right On and on and on it went. Then just when I thought the last one had hit the inbox, nasty, hideous comments started to arrive by mail. “You should wear a paper bag over your head,'’ wrote someone who only signed their note with the letters JC, “you’re that ugly.'’ Fabulous, thanks
Well, I don’t take any of it back. Jake Wall might be a spunk but he is dull on TV. I thought he’d had a total Botox job when I saw him on Bert’s Family Feud. He didn’t move one facial muscle in front of the TV legend. He could have played one of Dr Ballouchies’ Zombis From The Jungle… Then I caught him on Torvill and Dean’s Dancing On the Ice - same problem a massive personality bypass. But this time I forgave him because you have to concentrate on the ice - especially with that show looking increasingly like General Hospital. The only look to come out ofo TDDOI is stars on crutches.
The point about entering the public arena, as Jake has done, is that you are always going to be judged on your performance. The former builder turned model might well be the life of the party away from the cameras but he freezes in front of them. Of course, he has gained from the exposure and from being Jen’s boyfriend but now he has to develop a personality and his fans should develop thicker skins.

July 16th, 2006

A Gossip Columnist’s Life …

What do you wear to a cocktail party in a shopping centre? If you aspire to the A-list in Sydney or Melbourne, this is the sort of ticklish issue you will have to get your head around on a regular basis. Shop parties are all the rage thanks to the opening of big, glam shopping malls like Westfield at Bondi Junction and Melbourne’s GPO. At least David Jones and Myer have the good sense to hold their collections’ launch out of the store, well they do in Sydney anyway …
In this last week alone there were two shop parties. I decided to attend one of them - the christening of the Breil Italian jewellery shop in the Queen Victoria Building and tried to arm myself with another columnist who would hang off my arm like an amusing decoration on a Xmas tree. “C’mon Grigor, you’ll love it,”‘ I pleaded lamely, “there will be enough soapie stars there for both of us to debrief.'’
But he was having none of it.
“Forget it,'’ he sniffed. “I don’t do shops.'’
Puhleese! - I’ll remind him of that when we’re standing with our bottoms pressed into the glass display cabinets at Tiffany’s trying to balance a glass of bubbles, a plate and being swamped by socialites all desperate to have their pictures in the paper. In the end, I wore what I’d had on all day - a black, silk tiered gypsy skirt (a recent purchase in the sales), a svelte black jacket and a pale pink silk cashmere sweater with sturdy boots. (I was trying to impersonate marie claire editor Jackie Frank - at least when it came to the choice of party shoes) I actually felt quite powerful striding against the tide of people who were moving through the QVB on their way to Town Hall station. Had I been teetering in high heels, wearing a strapless cocktail dress and a faux fur shrug, I would have felt like an absolute goose. And it was reassuring that the first person I saw at the Briel party was Vogue editor, Kirstie Clements in a cosy cardie that was demonstrably not by Collette Dinnigan or Trelise Cooper (it looked like a Sportscraft). Style icon Jane Roarty was in traditional fashion editor’s garb of black layers and even Ada Nicodemou was all covered up in blue velvet. Cute radio chick Lizzy Lovette compromised with a sparkily top over jeans. A clever solution.
Sometimes it’s easy to forget that you’re at a cocktail party in a store. You’re having a couple of drinks, talking to people in the crowd, looking for protein only canapes and feeling pleasantly buzzy. Even the harsh lighting seems to soften. Then you suddenly focus on the faces on the other side of the window staring in while they wait at the bus stop. You can almost read their thoughts - `what a bunch of tossers. Don’t they have anything else to do than go to a party in a shop? Just how tragic can an you be..?’

July 9th, 2006

A Gossip Columnist’s Life …

How dumb is the ABC Board? Fancy trying to stop Jonestown, Chris Masters’ book about Alan Jones from being published. These guys are supposed to be part of the media. Didn’t they figure out that it was only going to make everyone hot for the book? Thankfully Masters shopped it to Allen & Unwin for a rumoured $300,000 advance. Since that publishing house has the same amount of intellectual `cred’ as the ABC, it was win /win all round.

It’s not that we want to hate Jonesy, it’s just that a person who has such an influence in Australian society is fascinating. (I am particularly absorbed by his relationship with the ill fated Pakistani’ leader - the striking Benhazir Bhutto - apparently they were great chums at Oxford).

I’ve interviewed Jonesy in the past and it was not a comfortable process as there were so many areas off limits. It was just after that unfortunate incident in the public toilets in London (“why would he have used a public convenience when he was staying at my apartment in Mayfair and I had an absolutely beautiful bathroom?'’ the late stockbroker Rene Rivkin had once innocently quiried). I wasn’t allowed to even utter the word `loo’ in the interview which did make it very difficult when I felt the call of nature. The piece was for Mode magazines and the one event that saved the day was the arrival of the dishy Mode photographer, Stuart Spence (who looked like an Adonis then and still does). Spence was a total madman and took it upon him self to talk in a fruity, high camp voice throughout the session. I was so embarrassed, I wanted to kill Stuey but Jonesy was charmed by him and took it exceedingly well. It shows that the man has a sense of humour. We were also allowed to spend much more time with him than had already been put aside.

Nevertheless when Jonestown is published later this year, I will be among the first to buy it. I would have bought it anyway - but thanks to the ABC Board, I’ll now be lining up for my copy as soon as the shops open.