September 10th, 2006

A Gossip Columnist’s Life…

It’s still only September but I’m already breaking in a couple of pairs of Sergio Rossis in preparation for that well known gossip columnist’s endurance event - the Melbourne Cup Carnival which begins on Derby Day, November 4. This can be pure torture and it means looking smart in a hat and heels for an entire day as I tour the massive track - from the Fashions On the Field enclosure to the Birdcage - searching for celebrities acting up. Let me tell you, it’s a nerve wracking, exhausting job especially when I’ll probably cover at least 10 kilometres by the end of the day and I sometimes have to sprint in case I’m about to miss someone. Last year, I had a major scoop when I noticed that Desperate Housewife Eva Longoria had a massive love bite on her neck and she kept trying to cover it up. This year, Kate Bosworth is flying in for Motorola. Now that she’s split from Orlando Bloom any good looking man she speaks to could mean a new relationship which could make international headlines. I will have to be so on the case that I won’t be able to drink more than one glass of French champagne, an hour. There’s nothing worse than finally being given access to a major identity and slurring your questions.

While all this is going on, I have to satisfy the insatiable Sunday Telegraph’ newsdesk with rivetting copy and hurl myself at any A-lister who will give me a juicy quote. (One time I had a front page story when Richard Wilkins chose Derby Day to go public about his relationship with Tottie Goldsmith - it was massive) My other major problem will be avoiding all those bores with no claim to fame who want themselves or their client in the paper. Sometimes they try to hijack our photographer to do group shots - but these aren’t the kind of photos I’m looking for - I want to see celebs canoodling or well known party girls getting really messy. This will go on all day right into the night when I will somehow stagger back to my hotel and soak my aching feet. Usually by the time I get there I am carrying my shoes which will be covered in grass stains and bits of gravel - and only if I have a good column the following day, will it all have been worthwhile. In the meantime I’m wearing my new, sturdy looking Sergio Rossis to Franklins and giving my feet a workout before they have to enter the dreaded Birdcage. If you see me being wheeled down the street in a shopping trolley, you’ll know that it all ended in tears.

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